Emergency meeting on ‘barua’ issue

Parody. Source (pic): TTF

THE THIRD FORCE

All characters portrayed in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. No animals were harmed in the production of this script, though it is rumoured that a certain CAT died laughing after reading it in an undersea tunnel.

[Enter Dr Mutakhir Mohamed, the Prime Minister of Malalala land]

Mutakhir: The opposition is playing up the barua issue. Normally, I don’t care. But it seems to be hurting us. So I have to ask…

[Mutakhir turns to Anu War]


Anu, did you say barua during the press conference?

Anu War: You were seated beside me lah…tak kan tak dengor…

Mutakhir: Kadang-kadang, monyet yang duk keriau kat parlimen tu pun aku tak dengaq…aku tua Anu…

Mat Sabi: Lutong…

Mutakhir: (looks at Sabi) Potong? Dah lama potong dah…

Mat Sabi: Bukan potong…Lutong…monyet yang duk keriau tu…Lutong…

Mutakhir: Ooo Lutong…see Anu? I’m hard of hearing…susah dengor…

Anu War: Then step down la…I can take over…dah tua reput, tunggu apa gi?

Mutakhir: (murmurs) Waiting for you to go to jail lah…

Anu War: Apa??

Mutakhir: (speaks louder) I said, I need to improve the economy. Kalau saya bos, orang kata “taka apa, dia tua, dia cuba.” Kalau ko bos, orang kata ko liwat negara..

Anu War: (angry) You promised never to say liwat again!!

Mutakhir: Did I? Oh…ok…I’m sorry…nak buat apa Anu…saya Melayu, saya mudah lupa…

Anu War: Dah mudah lupa, step down la…I can take over!

Mutakhir: (murmurs) Waiting for you to go to jail.

Anu War: What??

Mutakhir: (speaks louder) I said, tak boleh…I need to pay back the debt. Hutang kita kan RM1 trilion…saya kena bayar balik, baru boleh bagi negara kat awak…

Anu War: Aku pun boleh bayar balik…ko pikir ko je yang hebat ke?

Mutakhir: Tak boleh Anu…ko Melayu, ko malas…

Anu War: Aik!! Tadi mengaku Melayu..apa beza ke-Melayuan ko dengan ke-Melayuan aku??

Mutakhir: Kan aku ni orang lama…mestilah ke-Melayuan aku ni lebih. Ko muda, ke-Melayuan ko kurang…ko malas…

Anu War: (pissed off) Wei, ko ni bapak putaq alam la…aku tahu ko tak akan lepas jawatan sampai padam…

[Anu War storms out of room. The next day, he holds a press conference]

Anu War: I met the Prime Minister, and I assure you, the ‘barua’ issue is settled. There is no problem between us, he told me he needs to settle the country’s problems before he steps down.

Reporter: How long before he steps down?

Anu War: The economy is very bad, it will take a while. But I am the next Prime Minister of Malalala land

Reporter: But what if something happens to Mutakhir before the economy is fixed?

Anu War: (looks at reporter) How long do you think Mutakhir will live?

Reporter: (smiles) Many more years.

Anu War: (pissed) That’s how bad our economy is!!



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